Friday, October 27, 2000
Oooh! Late October already and time to break out Siouxsie and the Banshees best album 'JuJu'. Containing tons of spooky lyrics, tribal drumming and Prudence Siouxsie cater walling her way through a dark litany of hits. If you do take to dark items or those relating to the sublime, a reading of Guy de Maupassant's 'Horla' is perfect. Still searching for a nice translation of the french short story as most are mediocre at best, if anyone can recommend something, please e-mail me.
How profound that mystery of the Invisible is! We cannot fathom it with our miserable senses, with our eyes which are unable to perceive what is either too small or too great, too near to, or too far from us; neither the inhabitants of a star nor of a drop of water . . .with our ears that deceive us, for they transmit to us the vibrations of the air in sonorous notes. They are fairies who work the miracle of changing that movement into noise, and by that metamorphosis give birth to music, which makes the mute agitation of nature musical with our sense of smell which is smaller than that of a dog . . .with our sense of taste which can scarcely distinguish the age of a wine! -Guy de Maupassant

11:40 PM :

Thursday, October 26, 2000
'More More More' by the Andrea True Connection is one of the sexiest disco songs ever. When Andrea herself asks; 'Oooo how do ya like your love'. I answer 'down and dirty' cause I know how it feels, and I want more. The True Connection like any songs by Sylvester is sexy, in a 1970's fucked up sort of way. If I had to pick a sexy 1980s song it would have to be The Gun Club's 'Sexbeat'. Wildly angst ridden and filled with nervous energy, the whole song kicks sexual tension up about 20 notches. No sexy 1990s songs come to mind.
4:51 PM :

There will be a white slim line princess telephone next to the new John Lennon exhibit now running at the Rock Hall. If it rings, please answer as Yoko One will be calling to ask how you liked the exhibit. No lie! She is going to call in once a day to query viewers. Wow! Hello it's Yoko Ono, of course I don't have a problem with Madonna moving into the Dakota. Poor Yoko, she gets the shaft, few remember that she was/is an artist,, educated at Sarah Lawrence College and Juillard. Her works are in the collection of the Whitney and Moma. American's hate her, I think rock fans think she broke up the Beatles. Not being a particular Beatles fan and going more for bands like the Velvets, I have always liked Yoko's bizarre John Cage inspired recordings and films. The short subject film Rape is an interesting commentary on the media and intrusion into private lives. 'Fly' recalls Warhol's 'Blowjob' or 'Sleep'. Conceptually her sculptural works are quite fascinating especially when they draw on historical references as in 'Painting to be Stepped On'. What provokes this entry? The Tate Britain will be showing a round of her films. Oh, if you do visit the Tate web site, plese check out the 'Mongrel' site, it's amazing.
4:50 PM :

Tuesday, October 24, 2000
Fade away and radiate. Gone white. Color is bleeding..subtraction....rebuilding. Horribly hard to read isn't it? I think so, it will only be this way for a day or two. Sit tight.
Much reading and studying today, Fascinated by a few things; classical history states that there are four constitutions of man:
1. Menlancholy-Given to fits of brooding and melancholia. Depression without real cause. Self-doubt, sullenness, whininess and my personal favorite, ill humour.
2. Sanguine- Optimistic desiring, wanting, confident, courageous, hopeful and amorous! Of blood, rosey, or the archaic bloodthirsty! Help yourself to some Sangria! Mmm!
3. Phlegmatic- Lethargic, listlessness, dispiritedness, impassive or inactive.
4. Choleric-Angered or irate, aggressive and irritable. Cantankerous annoyed or grouchy, one might even use wrathful.::Subset 4 A. might read as 'Furiosi' or frantic. Like most Artists, it is the impending doom that keeps us going!
Moderno! I prefer to branch out with words like 'moderno' isn't this lovely?! I am 'moderno'! I know of the 'modi nuovi' and you might even be 'desideroso di cose nuove'. Much nicer than 'Choleric'.
Even more 'moderno' is 'Invenzione' as translated from the 16c. book 'Diagloghi di Pittura' by Pino. 'Invenzione' or devising stories and histories about oneself. Something quite a few artists know how to do quite well!
5:56 PM :

Monday, October 23, 2000
It is amazing, at times I cannot figure out where my time goes. If there is one thing that I find curious about 'blogging' it's the ordering and assemblage of time. Finding time to write, at times needing to write and sometimes being overtaken by the need to not 'say' anything at all. I often think that perhaps I should blog the following; 'I have nothing to say today' which often translates as 'I don't want to express anything today'. Is this really accurate or is this an odd way of saying that I want to 'visually' communicate, instead of write? This is especially true when thoughts arrive as disjointed sentences, and frustration sets in, I get up turning my attention to something else like reading a book. I often want to lock myself up delving into 'projects', ignoring the outside world, drinking coffee listening to the Velvet Underground. The outside world is my food, and I hunger to see, to experience, to learn. Where is the balance between giving my creative self sustenance or starving it to death? I do not yet know and after many many years I have yet to find an answer. Part One - Sense of a Place, an immersion/New York City. A walk down the street and I am into a different world, overtaken by emotion. sensation, the smell of hotdogs, mustard, people, everywhere a painting, everywhere a photo, everywhere a story. I am wore out before I can progress a city block. Exhausted, often angry.... pick one idea and spend a lifetime on it. Which idea? Any idea. When? Now. Where do I find the time? You will find it. I lamely ask to have the ability to express half of my vision, a third? Let me not go mad because I am stubborn and unwilling to take a job that stuffs me into a cubicle of which I know I could not survive. If you feel the need, if you can tap your hunger, does this guarantee 'making it'? Will I toil my days away, poor and disillusioned? I cannot say. Do you think I am seeking out a noble concept that no longer exists? Am I being ever so self indulgent by writing about something I should just be doing? Yes poor me, poor Artist given to fits of melancholia! How I suffer it all so well and look good doing it too! I laugh and want to run to the store to gather materials to make some really bad art! Perhaps... GodsEyes of yarn today, macrame planters? a Judy Chicago mock dinner plate? I know, I know!! A Cross made of Macaroni shells spray painted gold! I shall hang it on the door! Ward off evil, or perhaps encourage it to beat a path to my entryway! Curious as of late, I have wanted to photograph everything! This is felt more as a need rather than a want. Why should I now want to Document? I no longer feel that certain need to draw or paint, have I reached my saturation point with these mediums, no longer excited? Deadened! I am starving for 'image' for portrait, for record. Saturation of colors, the coolness of monochromatics, the warmth of Sepia. Light and space, what the eye of a camera can do, or not do.

I am trying to reorganize/redesign and add to my site a bit, a soon as I get out of my two week writing funk things will perhaps progress or take a hilarious fun loving turn into the gutter! Viva La..something...see I am blocked damn it!
9:04 PM :