Consumerist-Oriented Entirely Arbitrary
Today February 14 is the traditional day on which lovers express their love or lust for each other by sending special Valentine cards, flowers, candy or other gift items. The holiday is named after two men, both Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day is most closely associated with the mutual exchange of love notes in the form of paper valentines. Some believe that Valentine’s Day cards were invented by an out-of-work newspaper obituary writer who hung out at the back exit of a brothel with a camera. Modern Valentine symbols include the heart-shaped outline and the figure of the winged Cupid. Could it be that the symbol of the heart for Valentine’s Day and love came from an old Visigoth ritual of eating the hearts of one’s enemies to gain virility. No worries if this whole Valentine’s deal stresses you out and you think it’s a happy yet totally unimaginative consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance. Articulated in the correct tone and cadence, “Be my Valentine” played backwards sounds exactly like “Butt-love is in.” Here are some links and other items to help you through the day…
Wikipedia Valentines Day
Nail this one early, and how the hell did we ever survive without Wikipedia?
Instigator Magazine’s I’m a Dirty Boy Issue
This one’s only for the dirty dawgs. Instigator is described as the magazine by Alpha Males for Alpha Males, okay let’s cut to the chase, it’s a smutty magazine chock full of wicked deviant and nasty stuff for edge-playing homo males, with greased guns and perverted minds. That’s not to say it doesn’t have it’s artistic, literary, political and scientific merit, it does, it’s crammed in there between all the dirty pics.
Martha Stewart Works Her Valentine’s Day Magic
Cards, gifts cooking and other items from the queen of d.i.y.
How To Love Like a Genius
Mental Floss Magazine has been on a mission to help it’s readers live like geniuses. So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, they put together a little worksheet to help you LOVE like a genius. The worksheet includes strategies employed by smarties like Einstein and Dorothy Parker. Your mission is to match each genius to the romantic strategy he/she perfected a bit like match the egghead to the romantic strategy for success.
The Ultimate Anti-Valentine – Judith Beheading Holofernes by Caravaggio
Painted in 1598-1599. It is housed in the gallery of Palazzo Barberini, in Rome.
History books tell us that in Rome around the time of Tiberius, children were taught archery from a young age, and for sport, some would sneak naked into bath houses and shoot people with their toy arrows. This was the origin of “Cupid” — Latin for “accursed child.”
Donate A Life
If you haven’t considered becoming an organ donor, perhaps now would be a good time to think it over. Organ and tissue transplants offer patients a new chance at healthy, productive, normal lives and return them to their families, friends and communities. You have the power to change someone’s world by being a donor. It’s about living. It’s about Life.
Verner Panton Heart-Shaped Cone Chair
“Most people spend their lives living in dreary, beige conformity, mortally afraid of using colors. The main purpose of my work is to provoke people into using their imagination and make their surroundings more exciting.”….Verner Panton
Fool-Proof Chocolate Soufflé
If you can boil water you can…or maybe not. Actually this is a pretty fool proof recipe.
Nothing Says Love Like a Talking Urinal Cake
Smack Him Ex-boyfriend Punching Bag For Boys or Girls
Perhaps it’s been a rough year, inflatable ex-boyfriend punching bag is guaranteed to make you feel better. Insert the relevant photo into the pocket of his face and kick, slap and whack away. Lesbians, queens and trannies be careful, use of nails and/or high heels may result in a puncture.
Penn and Teller’s Bleeding Heart Gelatin Dessert and YouTube Video
How to Make Bacon Soap
What guy doesn’t love to hear, Honey I made you some bacon…soap? Makezine gives you the low down on Bacon Soap. “Soap can be made from just about any kind of fat. Even though fat from bacon, called lard, isn’t the finest of fats to use for making soap, it somehow seemed to be the most exciting. Why? Because bacon is amazing. It has an almost mystical power to it and is a food that can be craved to almost no end. the author figured what better way use the extra grease he had from cooking bacon then to turn it into soap.
Simpsons” creator Matt Groening got his start drawing loveable animals on children’s valentine cards.
Kapitza Heart Font
This Valentine font contains 70 heart illustrations and repeat patterns, use individual characters as illustrations or in a grouping to form patterns and borders, I’m sure your grandma the scrapbook queen is just splitting her pants right now.
6 Comments so far
Ha! Martyrs, brothels, cannabalism, and bacon! Now that’s my kind of Valentine’s Day.
[...] the one, because chocolate’s an aphrodisiac. Better Valentine’s Day posts are here, here, and here. Go read the people who put some thought and time into their holiday [...]
I’ll consider becoming an organ donor, Jim, when the UK and European organ donor legislation actually ALLOWS gay men to donate theor organs (or blood). Because, you see, even if you are 110% healthy, if your gay you can’t do any of the above.
Until this ridiculous ruling is revoked, those in need of my organs and blood can go fuck themselves.
OK?
Its a point I have STRONG feelings about.
In YOUR world, you might get a nice cozy feeling that there are those who will accept your gay liver and heart — here in the UK you CAN’T FORCE your healthy organs on potential recipients. End of story.
A lil’ Tenaglia magic just brightened my day.. thanks.
Yeeeeee-eah. About Instigator. Fun pictures mostly. But I just can’t take the writing. It’s sooooo bad. “And this past weekend, it was really great. I double fisted this boy, and it was Totally Hardcore! Cuz that’s how I roll! Hardcore! And then, I went to the sex club, and saw all my bros from Instigator there, and so you know it was Hardcore! Cuz we’re a Hardcore Tribe! Etc etc etc. Pick any article in Instigator and count the words before the personal pronoun “I.” See if you can get to ten. And the graphic design… Don’t get me started on the graphic design. Eeeeew.
Wow, some faggot’s had his plug in for way too long apparently. Drew, if you’re gonna pull a quote from our magazine – get it right, bro (or at least get it somewhat close). The guys here work really well with each other and occasionally DO play together, but rarely are we “all” in the same town and we certainly never “roll” anywhere. As far as the use of “I” – albeit a tad exaggerated – it’s a little difficult to put together a publication based on “experiences” without using it. How about we do a thoughtful retrospective of your “life” in the next issue (I’m just afraid that it wouldn’t sell as well as having our guys talk about the “totally hardcore” shit they deal with day-by-day and the cool things they are doing across 30 some odd countries; but hey, we’re game to give it a shot! Just tell us where to begin writing about you, and please do so without using the “I” word. Ready? Go!!! While we’re at it, why don’t we have you lay it all out given your mastery of graphic design – in other words, put up or shut up. Lastly, I’m awfully sorry that I turned you down when we last met, stud… You hangin’ out against the wall looking all miserable `n alone… I honestly just couldn’t get past that cheesy moustache with bits of food dangling off it like some hairy doggy-bag. Maybe next time, huh? You’ll get bonus points if you get your ass out from behind that keyboard, clean that stache, and do something worth a damn.